Everything and nothing at the same time

Today is one of those days when I am happy,not overly joyous but well happy,content.It got me thinking that I never talk about things that make me happy and I whine a lot.So today this letter will be different in some sorts.

Little things give me joy
Books for one. I think I always say this.However, I don’t think I have ever told anyone why they fill me with joy.
I won’t say that it takes me away and then I become
Someone else who isn’t me and stuff because that would be redundant.
I would say that it just eases me, fills me with something that’s much more than contentment.Something that I can’t describe,yet.
Someday maybe I will be able to describe it,better.

Littlest things that people do gives me joy.
A few kind words actually touch me.
The little bits of chocolate you get in an icecream when you are least expecting it,makes me happy.
I guess you could say, it doesn’t take much, to make me joyous.

Rain gives me joy
Something about looking out the pouring window and staring at the darkest clouds gives me peace,a sort of serenity. The sound of droplets when it hits the ground,it’s extraordinary.
I don’t think I ever told a living soul this but as a kid I used to dance. I would think of myself as a dance teacher and I would just dance and dance on the rooftop of my house during winter vacations.Sounds strange right?Me dancing in the winter apart of sleeping and all, but I did. It is one of the most beautiful memories of my childhood.

Writing this I am realizing that somewhere along the way In this process of growing up I changed.
I stopped seeing the beauty In things and switched to complaining.
When did the joyous kid that was high on life always changed,I don’t know.
But I guess that is what happenes to everyone,not
Just me ,but everyone.
As kids in nursery when someone would ask us who’s the strongest I bet everyone of us would have been me,me
Because back then we were pure, we thought of ourselves as the best.But if someone were to ask us the same question in grade 1 we would have named a certain someone because that’s what society does. It teaches us that not everyone is strong it makes us doubt ourselves and categorize ourselves as intelligent, dumb, pretty ugly.
And we no longer think of ourselves as the best.
You get the drift?

I am not saying I am a bad person now I am not saying I have degraded myself.
All I am trying to say really is how different life would be if we could go back to being little when we weren’t corrupted by the need to be something we are not
When we weren’t forced to mold ourselves to better adapt to our group of friends or to our society
How different would life be if we would not know the rights and the wrongs of the world and we could just be “us”
How Beautiful would life be if there was no completion
No comparison and we could just be happy
How different would things be if we could live in the moment and enjoy things like being licked by your dog, getting a surprise visit by your parents at the school.
How perfect would life be if we weren’t made to grow up and fight for our place in the society?
How extraordinary us humans would be there was nothing called money
If there was nothing as bad thoughts
And just like when little we could just be the purest and truest version of ourselves
I don’t think there is and there will ever be, anything as joyous as being a little kid who thought of himself and herself in the highest order.

With all my love
~A~x

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